Ice Age Film Exec’s: “Impending Cataclysmic Climate Change Allows For Exciting Fifth Film In Franchise”

After President Trump decided to pull out of the Paris Climate Accord, many Americans were left with a feeling of hopelessness in regards to the future of the planet. When asked what it means for future generations, President Trump responded: “I’ll tell you what it means, it means we’ll be getting a whole new plot for an Ice Age Movie!”

Ice Age producer Lori Forte expressed supreme excitement over the potential for a new film in the animated franchise, caused by humanities lack of foresight and imminent self-destruction. Forte is quoted saying “it would just be so much fun to see Manny the Mammoth, Diego the Tiger, and of course my personal favorite, Sid the Sloth, drudging through a man-made apocalyptic wasteland.”

Ray Romano, the voice of Manny, urged fans of the franchise to do everything in their power to hasten humanities forthcoming demise. Stating “ditch your Prius and trade it in for a Hummer, or one of those Hummer-Limo things if you can. Use aerosol spray, and forget about recycling. The sooner we get this thing over with, the sooner we can see Manny and the gang in a brand new adventure!”

A poll done by the Wall Street Journal showed that Americans in favor of pulling out of the Paris Climate Accord jumped to an astonishing 95% after the comments from the President. And then jumped up again to 98% when Ice Age Execs confirmed their interest in making the film. On the opposing side, some scientists argue that they don’t actually need the Earth to become uninhabitable in order for a new Ice Age movie to come out. Fans argue that that would take away from the series’s reputation for sticking to true events, thus rendering the film useless in the eyes of the public.

Eytan Raphaely is a comedian from Seattle. His other characteristics include: Jewish, brown hair, and tattoos.

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